sweetdeanie's Blog

Hi all, I gave birth on 10th December, induced 2 weeks early.  I named her Rowanna (nickname: Ronnie) and she was 9lb 13 oz.  We both nearly died during labour, I haemoraghed and was unable to push because I was only semi conscious and Ronnie's heart beat went down to 50.  A C-section was discussed between doctor and anaesthetist but it was decided there would not be enough time to perform one and so I ended up with a KIWI delivery instead.  

It took 20 minutes to resuscitate her when she was born and her saturation levels were low so she was rushed off to special care baby unit.  Her initial blood sugar results were low so she was put on a drip and was in an incubator receiving oxygen.  Her infection levels were high so she was also put on to anti biotics for 5 days.  

On day 2 she started to develop SVT, a condition that causes Tachychardia.  She was rushed to NICU in critical condition.  Her heart rate was at 279 almost double what a new born babies heart rate should be.  They tried ice packs on her head to try to shock her heart back to normal but this didn't work, they also tried putting her in to an ice bath but again unsuccessfully.  After consulting with Glenfields Cardiac specialists they were instructed to try various heart medications...each one for a few hours was unsuccessful, and transferring her was discussed, but eventually the slow acting Propranalol (a beta blocker) started to kick in and brought her heart rate down to normal levels.  She is now 14 days old, still stable and on Propranalol. 

It had been difficult to get a line in to medicate her due to her size and at one point there was a canula in her forehead but as the medication has to be pushed through fast it blew her vein and took some time for the lump to go back down.  Eventually they managed to put a line through her umbilical opening, but that was removed after about 4 days and now her medication is able to be given in her feeds and all cannula's have been taken out.  

They have told us that she will be on this for at least 9 months before she can have surgery on her heart, we'll get to speak to a cardiac specialist when she is around 3 months old to discover the cause of the SVT.

Due to raising infection levels she was given a lumber puncture at 3 days old, but the results for that were all clear.

She then developed mild jaundiced for a few days but again this has now cleared up.  She's had an ECG heart scan which has shown a hole in her heart (not the cause of the SVT) but as my previous child also was born with a hole in her heart I know in most cases this is not serious and so will just be checked up on over the course of the next year.  Holes in hearts are common with premature babies and often heal themselves within the first year.  The only symptom of this is a heart murmur.

She is now back in the special baby care unit as she has been stable for about a week now.   The doctors told us that once she is taking all her feeds in a bottle she can come home, but that she is very sleepy and not waking for feeds.  She sometimes takes as much as 50 mls in her bottle and then given 35 through her feeding tube, but most of the time she has her entire feed through her tube.

Yesterday we were taken aside and informed they were going to begin doing bran scans to test the hormones in the brain and tests on her abdomen (again for the hormone levels) to find out if their is a more serious cause for her being so sleepy/drowsy and not taking her feeds.

As for me it has been a difficult couple of weeks, originally after being discharged I was able to rent a flat on the hospital grounds but then someone else had booked it out and so I had to come home.  This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, it was unbearable being so far away from her.  I have been to visit every day but when I was staying on site I was there every 3 hours for every one of her feeds, now I get to be there for about one feed a day only.  I miss her so much.

Mentally I have had some slip ups, at one point I believed I was dead and this gave me anxiety attacks.  I had a psychiatrist visit me on the maternity ward and he believes I am suffering with delirium as my white blood cell count is high, inflamattory markers are up and I had high infection levels in my blood.  He prescribed me some anti psychotics but I've not taken them as it says can make baby sleepy if breastfeeding and I am expressing milk for Ronnie right now.  

All the rest of my family have been hit hard with stomach bugs and then flu so I've been kept very busy between hospital visits and looking after them all.

We did all manage to have a lovely xmas day though, after visiting Ronnie and opening presents with her we went for a meal near to the hospital where we had a very happy and fun filled time, we then went back to see Ronnie for a few hours before coming home.  Me and the kids then visited my best friend and her family for a few hours before coming home and going to bed.

I am not religious but have still been praying for a miracle or a quick recovery for my little girl.  All I want is for her to be able to come home soon.  It is affecting us all very deeply, even my three year old has been acting very upset and out of character the last few days.  She cries a lot and when we visit Ronnie in hospital she gets really upset when we have to come home again, often we have to carry her out!  

I want to say I have missed some of the people here very much, some of you have been so supportive throughout my pregnancy and I'm so sorry I have been absent for so long but I know you all understand how difficult my pregnancy was and obviously will understand how little time I have to come on here at the moment too.  I know some of you have been waiting for news for a long time though and so I had to come and let you know what has been happening with us.

Love Sam x

I just spent the weekend in hospital on an IV drip for dehydration, the pregnancy is still going through complications but not long to go now, hopefully as ill as I feel now, I will feel better after little Ronnie is born.  I look forwards to catching up with all my friends here after the birth of Ronnie next month.  Sorry all for not being around so much.

Found out I was pregnant today, scared because it was only just over a year ago I had a miscarriage and when I imagine the baby inside me now I see it suffocating in a black disease ridden womb like those pictures of smokers lungs, how would I even know if the baby is OK?  I didn't know anything was wrong last time till it was too late!

People seem quite friendly so far, I'm enjoying answering questions, and looking forwards to some future debates if that ever happens here!  I'm also looking forwards to meeting like minded people and getting to know each other.  I love reading other peoples opinions and views on things, some of the answers seem a bit antagonistic but then some people just like to think they are clever, they have nothing better to say so say what comes to their head and don't care how it might affect someone else, but that's cool as I'm good at picking out who is being themselves, being real, being honest and those who just have a big mouth!  

I know I have off days now and then too, so it's no big deal, sure it won't be long till people realise what a nutcase I am at times, most the time I have a level head, rational, intellectual.  I am very blunt but can use diplomacy if I can see that is what is best for the person I'm talking to, sometimes I think people need to just hear it how it is though, get a reality check and a kick up the backside.  Some people don't realise yet they are responsible for their own lives and accountable, but so far I've seen a lot of people here that are aware of those facts, which is great!

Anyway, I'm happy for anyone to add me to their circle of friends, keep in touch with me, discuss just about any subject and be brutally honest with me when it's needed too, as I do suffer mental health issues and sometimes I'm not very grounded and live on another planet!  That being said, I also don't take petty name calling very well and will tell someone where to go if that happens, there is a difference between honesty and petty name calling just to hurt a person!  

It's ok to state the obvious sometimes as often when in a situation we fail to see what is right under our nose, no matter how obvious it might seem to others or even to ourselves when we're able to step away from the situation and gather ourselves and regain our composure and perspective.  That being said, I take things with a pinch of salt, I store in my brain what I think is useful or true to my life and discard the rest, many contradictions can all be true at the same time depending on the individuals perspective, so I don't see people that have different thoughts and opinions as 'wrong' just as not 'right' to my own life and situation.

I'm open minded and even though I get determined, strong minded, strong willed, passionate and stubborn about things I believe 'now', that doesn't mean I'm unmovable or unwilling to consider alternative opinions and ideas, just might need time to let those sink in before I can see them with the intention they were meant.  I also can't mind read, so I respond to what is said, not what you 'might' be thinking but have not said, although I can often read between the lines and pick up on what is 'not said'.  I'm quite intuitive with the way I view the world and people.